There is lots of great advice in my book, Advice to My Younger Me: Career Lessons from 100 Successful Women. But there was lots of valuable advice that didn’t make it into the book (my editor said the first draft was too long!). Among that advice is:

1. Try on big decisions before committing

When you have a big decision to make (like changing jobs, moving to a new city, or going back to graduate school), make the decision but don’t share it with others yet. Wake up every morning for a week and see how you feel living in the world that you've created with that decision. How does it feel to be in a new role with lots of challenges? How does it feel to live in a city where it is freezing cold 6 months out of the year? How will it feel to be a cash-strapped student when you are used to earning a lot of money in your old job. Using this technique, Carolyn Webb, guest on Episode 57, decided not to pursue a PhD. (Her book, How to Have a Good Day, is a favorite of mine).

2. Listen more than talk

Listen with the intent to learn something. You don’t learn anything when you are talking. Everyone has something that they can teach you. Susan Bird, in episode 49, urges that you enter every conversation, whether in line at the grocery store, when you first meet someone or at work, with “beginner's ears.” If you have that intent when you start a conversation, you listen differently. You listen with curiosity and empathy.

3. Ask questions
Really great conversations are based on the questions you ask, not the things you say. A thought-provoking question can be much more powerful than a declarative sentence in moving a group to a decision or getting someone to buy into your position.

(If I was going to write another book, which I’m not, it would be about the power of good questions. It is a skill that has served me well in my career).

4. Set small goals

We often bite off too much when we set goals. Then we feel disappointed in ourselves for not achieving them, When we fall short because we set a goal that was too big, we think, "That didn't feel good so I'm not going to do it again." Instead, pick one goal, Make it as small as possible. Achieve it. Feel awesome. Feel motivated to try something a little bigger. Our brains like to repeat things that feel rewarding.

5. Develop your soft skills
These skills – like listening, flexibility, delegation, conflict management –are just as important as hard skills - like coding ability or legal writing. The smartest and most talented people are often not the most successful because of their lack of soft skills.