Women often don't ask for help, whether it is for career advice, an introduction, or an opportunity  - like a stretch assignment or an OK to attend a conference.  Perhaps it's because they are afraid they will be turned down. And that can certainly happen. 

But when you find yourself reluctant to ask for help or an opportunity, think about the realistic worst thing that might happen if you don’t get what you want. In all likelihood, the worst thing is that you will get a simple "no". That "no" may be disappointing, but it's highly unlikely to have negative consequences for your relationship with the person you asked.

A “no” is simply a “no." It is not a "never no” or "you're a terrible person for having asked no." Most "nos" are not personal. The person who turns you down for an introduction to someone in the hospitality industry may just not know anyone who works in hospitality. The person who won’t share the salary range for your position at their company may be concerned that it’s against company policy to share such data. The person who turns you down for an informational interview may just be overwhelmed dealing with a new baby.
        
Also, realize that you may be able to negotiate from a “no” to something almost as good as your initial request. If you hit a dead-end on your request to be introduced to someone at one publishing house, you can ask if they know someone at a different publishing house. If they have no advice on whether you should move from your job at Visa to a fintech startup, you can ask for general advice on what to do in your first 90 days at a new job. If they don’t have time to review your resume, you can ask what’s the most important thing they look for in a resume.

If you make a request and it is turned down, pay attention to what follows. Are there any adverse consequences when your ask is denied? In all likelihood, getting a “no” is not a catastrophe.  Hopefully, this realization will lessen your reluctance to make asks in the future.

Don’t let the possibility of hearing “no” get in the way of asking for career-enhancing advice or opportunities!