There are lots of people out there who are more than willing to share the career that they think you should pursue.  Your parents, teachers, friends, bosses, and even the media all have opinions about what a bright woman like you should have as her career ambitions.  But letting other people define the career path you should follow can be a recipe for an unsatisfying career, devoid of meaning to you.

Christine Arylo, author and women’s empowerment coach, shared in her podcast interview how she bucked conventional wisdom about what she should aim for in her career – and how that took her to a much better place.

In my twenties, I was working in advertising. I loved that job. I learned so much there. But I was also working 60 to 80 hours a week. I was traveling a lot. It was exhausting. And I looked up at the people above me, the Senior Vice-Presidents, and the Executive Vice-Presidents, and they just looked tired and unhappy. They didn't have much of a personal life. I thought this wasn't what I wanted for my life.

This was right at the time of the first dot-com boom.  I interviewed for a job in the tech field. They offered me stock options and talked about the outstanding opportunities in the dot-com world. All my friends were saying, "you have to go for this job because you'll make lots of money, and it's where the future is." I would try to get excited, but I was like, "I don't know …."

I decided to interview for a job as an advertising manager in the health insurance industry. It was not very sexy. There were no bells and whistles.  But it was a fine job, and they were going to pay part of the tuition for my MBA, which I was pursuing while working.  There was something in my Inner Wisdom that said, "take the job at this insurance company." I took the job.  Taking that job was one of the best decisions I ever made.  I had enough energy to finish my MBA at night, and I left graduate school without any debt.

If you want to have the career of your dreams, you need to be very specific about what that dream looks like.  Too often, we think of success only in terms of money and titles.  But Dana Campbell, a burnout coach, cautioned against this in her podcast interview:

In the work I do with clients, when we actually start defining what type of success they are looking to attain, very rarely is it defined as money or a particular title.

If you're operating under the definition of success as money and titles, then that's what you're chasing. But if that's not what you want, you're expending a lot of energy on something that isn't meaningful to you.

To develop your vision of the career you want, carve out time to do some deep thinking. Ask yourself questions like:  How do you want to spend your day?  What role does money play in your feeling successful? Is status or security important to you? Is autonomy or flexibility something you crave?  What role does challenge or contribution play? How do family, friends, and free time fit in with your view of success?  What kind of environment do you want to work in?  Is work location important?  How do you want to be remembered at the end of your career? What career can you pursue day in and day out and love on some days, like on most, and dread infrequently?    

Don’t let what you come up with just swim around in your head.  Write it down. A study found that people who write down their goals have a 42% greater chance of achieving them than those who just think about them.

Having a clear picture of the career you want is the first step in getting it.  It’s also a vote of confidence in yourself. As Dr. Lois Frankel, best-selling author and executive coach, suggests:

Have clarity around what it is you want, not what you don't want. Because to be crystal clear about what you want suggests that you feel like you deserve it, that you have a right to it, that you can achieve it.

You do deserve it!  Now go define it for yourself.