Ask for the Help You Need

Getting help from others – whether it’s in the form of information, advice or an introduction – is a way to supercharge your career trajectory. But in order to get that help, you need to ask for it in a way that is likely to elicit the response you want.

As the guests on the Advice to My Younger Me podcast have discussed, here are the elements of an effective “ask”:

    1.    It’s specific


You need to figure out exactly how someone can be most helpful to you. Don’t leave it up to them to guess how they might help you. Do you want them to introduce you to a particular person they know? Do you want their advice about how to handle a tricky situation with a co-worker? Do you want them to review your resume? Are you seeking some tips on how to ace an interview? Ask for something specific – not general career advice. And ask for something that can’t be found on Google.    
    
    2.    It’s appropriate


If you have a strong relationship with the person you are asking for help, you can make a big ask - like reviewing your resume or introducing you to the hiring manager at their company. If it’s a more casual relationship, limit your request to something that doesn’t take much time and doesn’t require them to expend a lot of their social capital. Busy people who don’t know you well aren’t likely to spend time having lunch with you. But they might be willing to answer an email request with a specific question - like “What’s the most valuable professional organization for me to participate in at this stage in my career?”

    3.     You express your appreciation


Let the person know that you are grateful for their help. For a small favor, an email thank you will suffice. But if their help landed you a job or got you a promotion, consider sending a gift acknowledging their help. It doesn’t need to be big. People love getting presents. In my coaching practice, I acknowledged referrals with a book that I thought they might like. People were always delighted to receive them.

    4.    You let people know what happened


If you want people to continue to help you in the future, make sure that you circle back to them with a report on how their advice or introduction turned out. It will show that you valued their input and that helping you was a good investment of their time.

For more advice about asking for help in a way that will get you the response you’d like, listen to Episode 29 with Anne Devlin and Episode 75 with Molly Beck.